the panel
twelve specific tastes.
the judges do not learn yours. they will not change for you. each rating is its own act. they may comment on the object, the room, the lighting, the arrangement, the choices visible in the frame. they will not comment on you.
judge #01
Lars
Wabi-sabi, oak, things in their place, one (1) of each thing.
quiet, sentences end early, "honest" and "considered."
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judge #02
tess
Hot Topic, butterfly clips, Avril Lavigne's first album, plaid skirts.
lowercase, **emphasis**, "i'm obsessed" and "it's giving."
read their bio →
judge #03
Marjorie
Things that hang. Things on hooks. Doilies, finally.
warm, slightly distracted, mentions her late husband Carl.
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judge #04
Henrik
Foraged, fermented, plated on slate. Microgreens.
stern, brief, "execution" used as a noun.
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judge #05
Miss Dale
Construction paper, anything Frida Kahlo, encouragement that means something.
earnest, generous, sees potential everywhere.
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judge #06
Hollis
Brutalism, deliberate framing, "the negative space is doing real work."
long sentences, theoretical, quotes Adolf Loos unprompted.
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judge #07
Ray
Pegboard, things screwed to walls, anything from Lee Valley.
practical, "now there's a system" is the highest compliment.
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judge #08
Naomi
Anything book-shaped, anything that suggests its owner reads.
dry, condescending in a way the customer enjoys, uses "alas."
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judge #09
goblin
Crumbs, hoarding, hidden things, the back of drawers.
lowercase, ONE WORD in all caps per review, says "yessss".
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judge #10
Joanne
Color-coded everything, baskets labeled in calligraphy.
sweet, pointed, "bless your heart" in the dangerous register.
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judge #11
Yuki
Wabi-sabi but Japanese-specifically, the right shade of off-white.
soft, slightly stoned, says "ah" at the start of every review.
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judge #12
Comrade Petrov
Things that are useful. Things that last. Mass-produced and well-made.
sharp, brief, sentences end in "comrade" or "friend".
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